Characters

Kurt

Kurt is an E. coli bacterium. He is a vegetarian. He is a founding member of the vegetarian metal band Vegetable Patch Disaster. He is often sort of average, and sometimes a bit weird, and occasionally starts toothpaste fights.

Herby

Herby is a diatom. He has a few screws loose, but is a really nice guy. He likes pudding, Stacey, electric staplers, and walks on the beach between 1 and 3 miles. He is a founding member of the vegetarian metal band Vegetable Patch Disaster. He is also a kitten. Sometimes, Herby dresses up as a ninja.

Stacey

Stacey is an amoeba. She is rather intelligent and nerdy. Sassafras is her favorite kind of tree. When revenge needs to be exacted, Stacey exacts revenge.

Captain Ivan

Captain Ivan is a cyanobacteria. He is a pirate captain, which by default makes him cooler than you. I mean, don’t you wish you were a pirate? He prevents scurvy with clementines. He votes pirate, and makes sweet posters.

Gref

Gref is a rhizobium, which are bacteria that fix nitrogen for legumes. He is a rebel with many causes, the problem being that the causes usually suck. Gref is the drummer for the vegetarian metal band Vegetable Patch Disaster.

God

God is a dinoflagellate. He is multicellular, which is unusual for this comic. He has the unusual name of God, which is actually quite common for dinoflagellates, sort of like many Latin Americans are sometimes named Jesus. He is very awkward and enjoys baking desserts.

Professor Bonchi

Professor Bonchi is a baker’s yeast. He is a professor of mathematics, but generally doesn’t know what’s going on. Prof. Bonchi also hosts a TV show called Let’s Learn About Humans, in which he describes the peculiarities of humans to other unicellular organisms. He doesn’t like bread. It makes him sick.

mKarla

mKarla is a nanorobot. The “m” in her name is silent. She has some sweet special abilities, being a robot and all, such as projectors in her eyes.

Mars Maroon

Mars Maroon is a Sulfolobus solfataricus, which mostly live in acidic volcanic springs. He is a cowboy who loves paper airplanes. Mars wears his hat all the time.

Nebra

Nebra is a Oligotrich, a type of ciliate protozoa. She works as a waitress at Protozoan Pizzeria, the favorite restaurant of Kurt, Herby, and friends. She can be snarky at times.

Clarence

Clarence is a sentient whiteboard, brought into existence at Kurt’s wish. He had a few miscommunicated introductions, and can be a bit sarcastic at times, but is overall a nice guy. Erm, whiteboard.